Tuesday, July 29, 2014

С Днем Рождения

      Today is our daughter's eleventh birthday.  I can just imagine how it would be if she were here....the boys eagerly making cards and preparing gifts....everyone wishing her a happy birthday.....cards lining the counters.....surprises ready to be shared.....candles to be blown out.....excitement and celebration to make this child feel special.  I wonder if she's ever known a day like this, and my heart aches that she can't experience this today.

       I am, however, blown away and full of gratitude over the way God has cared for this little girl more than we could have imagined in our absence.  Another family, adopting two children from the same place, have so kindly been investing their time with her as well.  Sending us updates, relaying messages.....calming her fears, and showing her a happy birthday video we made as a family yesterday.  I never imagined we'd be able to sing happy birthday to her, show her a couple of small gifts, and let her know once again that we love and miss her.....what a gift.

       I so badly want her to know that this day is so special....because she is.  That she is so loved by her family already, and so much more by her heavenly father who is orchestrating all of this for her.  I know we will have many years to do so and for that I am thankful.

                                                       С Днем Рождения O!

Friday, July 25, 2014

The Past Month

           Phew!  So much has happened in the past month, it truly feels like it's been so much longer.  We've been home a total of six days so far this July!  I apologize that the blog went private for so long, and to those of you who couldn't get in repeatedly despite sending your email address.  I had no idea that there was a limit to how many readers you could have when you set it to private, and I also have no idea why it gave so many of you a hard time.  I'll continue to post the entries on our facebook page when they need to be kept private, but for now I'll attempt a summary of the past month!

           We left the last day of June and had our appointment on July 2nd.  Though we were approved for two girls, it was proving to be near impossible to find two in the limited time of an hour that we are allotted to look through the binders.  It's a complex system, and while I'm sure there are countless pairs of sisters, and multiple girls in the same orphanages within our age range, there were none that came up during our appointment.  Not every orphan is eligible for international adoption, nor is it possible to look through every binder in the time given.  We know that God has a plan in this and has a child or children for us, so we tried to remain calm and at peace about whatever course this journey took.  (which I failed at repeatedly I should add).  In the end, we were led to a little eight year old girl...so precious....and yet as more information emerged we felt increasingly unsettled.  So many factors to consider in just minutes, and in the end we did what I thought was the unthinkable....we walked away.  I had never considered this possible, and I found myself with so many questions and doubts.  But I know God's peace....and neither of us had it.....

          We had to submit for a second appointment which was not for another entire week, so we made the second hardest choice....to go home for that short time.  It left us with just a few days home by the time you factor in travel, but it was so needed.  Time with our boys, time for Luke to work a couple of shifts and save days off....time to give my parents a much needed break and to prepare better for this second trip.

          This time we went in with four potential options.....names given to us by a variety of people that care and want to see these orphans welcomed into families.  Two options were for two girls, two for just one.  Time and again we prayed for clarity, wisdom and that God's choice would be so evident.  He is so faithful.  We went into our appointment and within a short time there was only one possible choice.  We were not surprised.  Two different people we really do not know, from two countries, had both pointed us to this one sweet girl.  God doesn't need us to figure anything out....He has it covered!

          Within moments of meeting our precious daughter, she knew that she wanted us to adopt her.  We felt the same....so much peace...excitement...gratitude.  We were able to spend seven days with her.....ten years old and so very full of life, love, excitement.  We made so many wonderful memories this past week, and cannot wait to be together as a family of five.  She is incredibly smart, so very loving and affectionate, can eat like nothing we've seen before, and gets excited about everything.  It was such a privilege to be there as she experienced new things...to see the joy she displayed.

           We missed our boys more than I had ever imagined we could, and were so happy to be able to come home to them.....but leaving our daughter behind was heartbreaking.  She clung to us, sobbing, and only cried harder when she saw my tears.  It's amazing how much your life can change in such a short time.  It feels like a part of us is missing.....Luke and I keep hearing her voice, calling us mommy and daddy over and over again as she did the last couple of days (I think she liked that she could say it...it was so sweet).  We are praying for this time to pass quickly until she can come home!  Thank you all so very much for your support throughout this entire process.....we can't wait for you to meet the little girl whose life you have impacted forever!